Ok. This is waaaaay overdue. And I know that by now you must all be thinking, “Hey! That Nicole Dupre never seems to shut the fuck up, God love her. So where the hell is she with a new blog?!” Oh, ye of little faith. No, I didn’t fall asleep at the wheel, you whiny old ladies. I’ll have you that I’ve actually been kinda busy since last we spoke. For the love of all that’s hot n’ hung, the move up north was no picnic. I got two (don’t laugh, or I’ll bend you over and fuck you like the godless dogs you are) speeding tickets in less than 24 hrs on the way up here. (Don’t ask!) But what’s even worse is, I caught a goddamn cold two weeks ago! If you think I’m a royal cunt on wheels when I’m healthy? You ain’t seen shit! Hell hath no fury like a tranny with the sniffles. I was terrorizing everyone who either looked at me funny, or who was even remotely funny-looking, for at least a week. Some of the highlights were as follows. I told a nail tech, who I tried for the first time, that she sucked badly, and that she should turn in her acrylic applier’s license. I also put the local Quick Check manager on full blast for taking over a fucking week to get in more Marlboro Medium 100’s. Oh, and probably worst-yet-best of all, I teased Rockabilly a few days ago on HungAngels because he’s still hellbent on having a LTR with a transsexual. Yeah, I know. Life’s a bitch, and then Nicole makes it all look like a cakewalk in comparison. Thanks. I love you too, fuckers.

“So much for “the big update of October 2009″, you say, huh? Well, screw it. It does say part 1, you illiterate gonad-lickers. Don’t make me fuck you with JWBL’s cock, or you’ll be walking funny for the rest of your lives!

BECAUSE, PERHAPS MOST TRAGIC OF ALL, I’VE QUIT SMOKING!!! RUN!!!

Ok, part duex is coming soon. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Kicks to your Kiester,

Nicole